church bulletin bloopers

A friend forwarded me this email of church bulletin bloopers.  I thought they were funny.  :)

    The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

    ————————–

    The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’ The sermon
    tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’

    ————————–

    Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale.. It’s a chance to get rid of
    those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

    ————————–

    Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at
    someone who is hard to love. Say ‘Hell’ to someone who doesn’t care
    much about you.

    ————————–

    Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.

    ————————–

    Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’ giving
    obvious pleasure to the congregation.

    ————————–

    For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a
    nursery downstairs.

    ————————–

    Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the
    help they can get.

    ————————–

    Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the
    church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

    ————————–

    A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.
    Music will follow.

    ————————–

    At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is
    Hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice

    ————————–

    Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of
    several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

    ————————–

    Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be
    recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

    ————————–

    Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased
    person you want remembered.

    ————————–

    The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment
    and gracious hostility.

    ————————–

    Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM – prayer and medication to follow.

    ————————–

    The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They
    may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

    ————————–

    This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across
    from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

    ————————–

    Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All
    ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S.
    is done.

    ————————–

    The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation
    would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next
    Sunday.

    ————————–

    Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use
    the back door.

    ————————-

    The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the
    Church basement Friday at 7 PM.. The congregation is invited to
    attend this tragedy.

    ————————–

    Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.
    Please use large double door at the side entrance.

    ————————–

    The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new campaign slogan
    last Sunday:

    “I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours”.

i love these kids

a picnic....in march!

I can't believe it's only mid March!  The sun is shining, it is 55 degrees and all that's left of the snow are small drifts and the ice on the lake.  The kids even had a picnic today with the neighbor girls.

I took a peek under the dead foliage and found that the sedum is already growing.  I'm tempted to go pull all of the dead stuff away, rake the yard and haul out the patio furniture but realize that this could still happen, so I'll wait for awhile yet.

It's been a good week here.  Most of the kids extra activities have ended and we have been able to stay home more.  It has been a good change of pace.  Lots of school, playing outside, cleaning and organizing have been happening here.  Ava loved running the paper shredder when I went through old paperwork.  Somehow she always ends up in those pajamas when I'm taking her picture.  She does take them off and dress herself.  See -

A swimsuit, her favorite vest that she must wear every time it is clean, and boots, of course.  The other day she put on a swimsuit, striped tights over it and then socks over the tights and that was it.  That girl is crazy.  And she always eats her apples like that....in a circle, like a little squirrel. 

it's beginning to feel a lot like spring

 

It's been warming up and melting around here.  The kids have loved getting outside and playing.  They got their bikes out of the shed and took their first ride around the neighborhood this afternoon, even Ava on her tricycle.  It made me smile.  They will sleep well tonight!

my apologies if you read this blog with a reader

I'm making some changes and doing some clean up around here on the blog.  I'm letting the kids clean the house.  Ha!  Anyway, I do not use a reader to read blogs so I'm not exactly sure how they work.  Unfortunately I do not know how to make all of my changes behind the scenes and then just do a big update so unless I figure out how to do that it might look like I am posting a lot here.  ??  If it's annoying, I am really sorry!  I hope to have everything done this weekend.

meet dorothy

Ava has been thumb-free for over two weeks!  I can hardly believe it!  Her reward was a new fish.  She named it Dorothy and she absolutely loves it.

She plays with it and gives it kisses.

And big hugs too.  The best part is that she says she's never, ever going to suck her thumb again!